Life goes on and happiness does come!

It has been almost two years since my engagement to Jeremiah was broken. Since then i haven't really dated anyone very seriously. In fact, I had been feeling totally stuck in rut in life. Not just in love, but i wasn't growing much as a person. I was just there, sitting in my room watching movies. I needed a change.
Earlier this year i decided to go back to Dixie. I didn't really want to go to school, but i felt that i needed to be in St. George for some reason. So i figured it was school that i was supposed to be doing, even though i really don't have a motivation for school.
I am Now in St. George, i have been living with my friends, Megan and Taylor and their baby. When i first got here we hung out with their friend Jacob. It turns out that he was in my singles ward when i was at Dixie last and we were on the same committee. ANYWHO, i wanted him to ask me out all semester, and finally at the end of October he did. Our first date felt like the tenth and we have been together ever since...it is only mid Dec. now, but it feels much longer.
He is everything i ever wanted. He is strong in the LDS faith. He makes me feel like i am the most important thing in his world.  He even wrote a song for me for Christmas. Not only did he write it for me, but he wrote it for me to sing. I mean... how darn romantic is that?!?! We are both silly and love music. He is a music major and he is an amazing singer! i may post some of his stuff on my blog in the future. I am truly happy right now!! He is coming to my place for Christmas this year and i am so excited for that.

And on top of all of that I passed all of my classes with kick butt grades. Life is awesome right now!!

When something bad or sad happens in our lives just remember, life goes on and happiness does come. Maybe not on our own time table, but it does come.

(500) Days of Summer...

So, i have wanted to watch '500 Days of Summer" for a few years now and everyone LOVES that movie. I finally watched it last night.  Under normal circumstances, yes, i would live that movie, but it just reminded me of Elmer and me. I am the Joseph Gordon-Levitt character and he is Zooey.
No, as pathetic as this is i am still not over it. We broke up May 21 of 2011 and it is now Feb. 13 of 2013. What the hell? This is so stupid!! My lack of dating life isn't helping my situation. I need a different singles ward. I love my ward but i have been in the ward with the same guys for five years if they haven't asked me out yet, they wont. and if they do they just expect a good make-out every time or something. and then when we do go out or whatever, they pretend i don't exist when we are at church. I don't want to be someones secret!!  I want to be able to tell people " yeah we are soooo dating!!"   gosh i want to date!!!
 I'm sorry my blog is depressing and 97% is about or has something to do with Elmer, the one who won't leave my mind.
I Asked him once why we couldn't be friends anymore and he said that he wasn't ready to reconnect with me in a "platonic" way. so.... what about it is he not ready for? i am just a normal girl who wants a friendship...what is it he is not ready for? i gave him plenty of time... two years of time. I even gave him four years of time before we actually started dating. All i give him is time. anyways, i am still unhappy. it is not his fault, it is my own. He moved on like he was supposed to, i am just the fool who hasn't found a way to let go. The End.

She who dares to stand where i stood

Oh sorry, my bad!

Oh I'm sorry.... i thought we were called the United States of America, not the Divided States of America.  I am so sick of members of the Republican Party putting members of the Democratic Party down and vice versa! It is completely riddickulous. Why do we have to be so hostile to each other? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and vote for the candidate they think is best. I am a strong supporter of posting facts about what a candidate is planning to do and how they will do it no matter what party. I am NOT a supporter of people who post incredibly rude things about the opposite party.

And why can't the candidates just say what they are going to do and how they are going to do it and what the effects might be instead of streaching the truth out... a LOT. All candidates for all parties do that and it is just way out of hand.

I guess this post is mainly trying to say, remember who we are. We are Americans. We are free to have an opinion and share that opinion. It is also a reminder that we need to stay United as a country and not go against each other and say mean things about what another person believes in.

Thanks for reading.

Reconnecting

So, my friend Aaron from my first year of college (4 years ago) just friended me on facebook today.  I have missed him a LOT and it just made my whole life that we just reconnected today.  For the past few months i have been grumpy and depressed and not my bubbly happy self, but today when i saw his friend request i was incredibly happy all day long and reminded my co workers of how i used to be. I need more Aaron's in my life if that means i will be myself again.  the bummer is that i live in Sandy and he lives in St. George... oh well. i guess we can still be friends from far away.  I really happy today. All of these pictures are from 2008 but hey. oh well. :)

aw.. me and my roommates did his hair all pretty. :P

Old post i saved and never posted

06/2011

"Sometimes doing something that you know you HAVE to do really hurts. Sometimes you wish there was some way around it, but there is no way. Like with me, today, i had to break off a friendship with my ex boyfriend.. lets call him Elmer (obviously that is a fake name) because of some personal issues. I tried so hard to think of any way that i could just deal with it. But then i thought i could hurt a little bit more everyday of the rest of our friendship, or i could break it off now and hurt a ton for a little while and then move on with my life. I don't regret breaking off my friendship with Elmer. but that doesn't mean that i don't miss him, it doesn't mean that i am not going to have unimaginable hurt going on inside of me. He was the first guy i had ever loved and so it is very hard for me. BUT i had to do it. So i have a couple of feelings inside of me....i feel relieved, like a load has just been lifted from my shoulders, happy, and i also feel sad and hurt."

It is now July of 2012. I don't know what i was thinking when i wrote that. I still hurts with every passing day. Why?? i don't know. It is stupid, but i just can't get over it. I made a mistake that i can never take back. I wish he was still my friend. We used to go to midnight movies spur of the moment. We used to watch really weird movies. We used to drive around aimlessly. We used to go to IKEA just for fun. We used to hang out a lot. he used to give me his famous half smile. We used to just play around. I miss that. I miss his laugh, and his Joker imitations. I miss the dimple on his cheek when he smiles. imiss seeing him wear his fedora. i miss seeing how he loves his little brother. I miss seeing how he loves his whole family. i miss him talking about doing extreme sports. i miss him making me eat things i don't like. i miss his shoes (weird). i miss the mischevious look in his eye when he thinks he has a brilliant idea. I miss how he looks dumb after he wasn't able to do something he thought he could :). I miss him bringing me pepermint ice cream on Valentines day. I miss how his nose runs (again.. weird but so true). i totally miss his notebooks and his black coat. and his love for the rocketeer and peter pan. well... you get the gist of it i think.   I have to get over it.  But how do you get over five years of being close to someone. how do you get over loving someone for five years? you don't! you can't just get over it. It eats at my mind and emotions everyday, even when i don't invite it. I regret breaking the friendship off, and i still miss him. And i am hurting every day anyway so it wouldn't have made a difference. At least i would have still had him in my life. I had to put my feelings out there somewhere. cuz i am going insane keeping it inside.



I will post something positive soon.... i promise!!

Today... life just sucks... and it's all my own doing.

So i feel like a looser who cant get through school. the worst part is that i am not even motivated to do anything. I can't go where i want to go because i can't afford it and i can't quit my job. I am forced to go to a school that i hate with a firey passion. I suck at school. etc. but i guess i will take what i can get and go to a loser school that i hate so very much. I am using that as motivation to get done a fast as possible with my associates so i can get the hell out of there. hard to get done really fast when i have a full time job and everyone else working there are already going to be taking a lot of time off work to go to school themselves. So i get to do lovely night classes... that will make my already non existant social life even more unattainable. I know, i am just complaining. Everything will be okay. I think in my current depressive state i am being more dramatic than i need to be. So let's turn this frown upside down.

I am starting school again after a year break. and then a 2 year break before that school year. I am going to pass all of my classes so i can get out of that hell hole of a school. and i am going to take as many night classes as i can handle (one or two at first and see how it goes form there) I WILL eventually move away from where i am now. And i WILL get to Utah State someday. I will go to different singles ward, even if i have to use a different address to get there. I am not a stupid worthless human being like i have been thinking i was.  okay. so that is it. my thoughts are all over the place tonight. I am not the best writer and not the best blog poster. :P but oh well. until next time.

Somebody That I Used To Know

What is it with songs and reminding me of my past today. gosh! i like this song! Correction.... LOVE this song.

So I Set the World on Fire. :)

I don't know why, but the first time i heard this song, it reminded me of my friend let's call him ELMER!  :P I super duper love this song. Enjoy my friends. enjoy.

Starting over

So my Fiance and i broke up a couple of weeks ago (mutual decision and i am okay). My friend set me up on this blind date for tonight. I am nervous SOOOOO nervous. Honestly i haven't "dated" in over a year. I was with a boyfriend since December of 2010 broke up in may 2011. Then came july and i hadn't dated at all since my breakup and then i went on one date with My ex-fiance and we have been together from july until two weeks ago. so i am very VERY out of practice with dating. i am so afraid i can't remember how to date. I'm afraid that i will make all of the first date mistakes. ugh... I hate dating :P  Starting over. it isn't easy. BLEH!! now there is my little two cents for my blog :P it has been a long while since i have posted.

Salt Lake City

It is sooo much fun to just walk around Salt Lake City. if you get board.... just go there and walk around at the Gateway then walk around town. go play in the hotels and such. look at the pics below.. i had a BLAST!! There was one point where we (Me, Jer, Amanda, and Garrett) were at a restaurant and i was doing mr napkin head and the waitress came when my face was covered so i had no clue she was there!!! so embarrassing but sooo funny! :P

me trying on hats in a shop and the Grand America Hotel

Me posing for the camera!

Tried on a tiny hat in the shop at the Grand America

Me and Jeremiah at Little America Hotel

Getting ready to do Mr. Napkin Head at Little America restaurant 

Me dong Mr. Napkin Head (from the movie The Holiday)

Some scuplture we found walking around town. 

Me being silly at one of the hotels

Me

And me again.

Where have i been?

When i started this blog, i really thought that I was going to write more. BUT i haven't. Oh well. The posts that i have posted aren't all the great either, but it's MY blog, so i guess it doesn't matter. It is about 3:00am and i can't sleep. I have two ear infections and a sinus infection AND a cold, so i am very uncomfortable.  I also don't like to sleep cuz my recent past has been creeping it's way into my dreams and it is not very happy making.

 I am SOO happy that i have Jeremiah in my life. He saves me from my sadness and sickness. He comes over and for a brief time i forget that i feel so sick and miserable. How did i ever get so lucky to catch a guy like him? before i met him, i thought i deserved to be treated the way i was treated. I thought that that was normal and that i couldn't find any better for myself. being with Jeremiah has been a big adjustment for me, a good adjustment, but big. at first i didn't want to see him as often or cuddle as much and felt creeped out when he did because i was so used to being denied of affection of any sort most of the time. and when i wasn't denied that affection it was only given to me so my feelings weren't hurt (Some of the time) Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad, there were soo many good times. but all of these other times overshadow the good times now. It was like pulling teeth to get him to hang out with me even once a week. With Jer...he jumps at any chance to come see me every day. He always wants to hold my hand and tell me that he loves me every chance he gets and then some :) I'm lovin it!!

I guess my post is very scatterbrained... forgive me... i'm tired and have some bottled up feelings i am releasing a little bit. Don't worry, I won't unleash all of them at once. 

bottom line......i can't wait to be married to my JERJERBEAR!

The worst they can say is "No"

I have a huge fear of auditioning for things. That is why i was NEVER in my high school plays, or in any community plays, or college plays.  I was afraid that if they said "no" then i would never want to sing or audition for anything ever again, so i just didn't. Now, years later, i realize i was already thinking low of my talents. What would have happened if i just auditioned? the worst anyone could say is "no".
For my choir that i am in (Sterling Singers) the first soprano's have to audition because they want clear on pitch voices on the high notes. My mom was trying to get me to audition and i wouldn't even give myself a chance. I gave up before i even tried. I said to my mom "no mom.. i will just be a 2nd soprano cuz i am not going to audition. and it took about five minutes of my mother telling me to "just do it, the worst he can say is no" and i finally decided to audition. I was scared out of my pants. I hadn't auditioned for anything in a very long time, years even.  our director had us sing the high A in the Hallelujah Chorus " and he shall rein for ever and ever" and then the next part where to soprano's hold out the " king of kiiiiiiiiiiiiings and lord of looooooords" where it progressively gets higher and higher.  A few ladies were before me and they were so quiet and dind't do very well and i was like " if they can't do it then i can't either" but then my name was called and i guess i was kinda quiet through the first part and i rocked the second part. then the director asked me to sing that first part again and i did it loud and clear and the director said "oh there you are, hello Lynette" and he gave me much praise. he didn't not give any of the other ladies praise, so i am pretty proud of myself. then i was done and i left and today (4 days later) i get an email saying i am invited to sing 1st soprano!!!!!!  I DID IT!!! and to think i was going to back down and not even try.... i am going to audition for things from now on. at least try... cuz you never know.... you might get exactly what you came for. :)

My Engagement Story

Some background before i start the story. Jeremiah and I met on the 4th of July 2011 and we have been dating since July 6th. and...i guess i'm just going to roll on into the story :)

So on monday night (9/12/11) Jeremiah took me to Sundance to go on the ski lift to see the full moon. We were a little ways up the mountain when i heard Jer groan and say to himself " oh man... i can't believe i did that." and i asked him what was wrong and he said that he had forgotten something at home that was very important. Of course i instantlythough.. oh great, he was going to propose and he forgot the ring at home.... so a few minutes later he jokingly looked over at me and started to unwrap a ring pop and he jokingly said "Lynette Rounds, will you marry me?" and i said " Yes" in an airy voice just joking around and we put the ring pop on my finger and i started to eat it.

 As the lift went on i asked him if it was the ring that he left at home and he told me that yes it was the ring. He looked soo bummed out and i told him not to worry too much. 

When we got off of the lift we decided to go take a walk around and we walked by a pond. He was holding a rolled up blanket in his arms (he brought blankets because it was cold) he pointed to the trees and said "hey look! there a guy walking around in the trees" so i looked at the guy that actually was roaming around in the trees. I looked back at Jer as he is trying to get a rose out of a canister... he droped it on the ground and said "pretend i didn't just drop that" and i laughed and he proposed and i said "YES!" and then i saw the ring tied to the rose. he also had trouble getting the ring untied and so i helped him get it unstuck and finally we got it free and put where it belongs-- on my hand :)

Me with my Rose and my new ring :)

Me and my ring pop ring.. i was sooo excited :P 

Me and my Jerjer Bear!!

the rose with the ring tied to it.. Jer took this before he even came to pick me up :) 

9/11/2001 I remember where i was and what i was doing.. Do you?

This song came on as i was driving to my moms work. I was sobbing in my car i could barely see to drive. Tomorrow it will be the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center towers, the pentagon, and flight United 93. I was 12 years old and in 7th grade. I was getting ready for school and i looked at Fox 13 news and saw a tower on fire. I didn't understand what it was until as i was watching the second tower was hit. I started listening and i was crying. Even at twelve years old i knew that this was an attack on the US. I knew there were thousands of people dying and there was nothing i could do about it. I went to school, but all we did in our classes was watch the news. We didn't do any work, or learn anything new. We just sat and watched, it was the one day that the class clowns were not clowning around, the bullies were not bullying around. This is a terrible day in our history. Please remember this day. I know i do and i pray for the people who were directly affected by this day. Even ten years later because they still need it. I am proud to be and American where at least i KNOW i'm FREE! and i won't forget the men who DIED who gave the RIGHT to ME!!

Felling low?? Get a recommendation letter!!!

So! i am applying for a couple of scholarships at Dixie so i can afford to go to school, and part of what you need to send the applications in is to get two letters of recommendation. I just got one back and i was almost to tears the things they said about me... good "i'm touched that you said that" kind of tears. You never really realize what you mean to others until you ask them to write people, they don't know, about you. So!!!! If you are ever feeling down about yourself just pretend you are applying for a job or for a scholarship (or you can actually apply :P) and have people write recommendation letters for you. :) they make you feel so good and worth while.

Abby's Shirt Project!

At 10 weeks old my good friend Abby had open heart surgery to repair a hole in her heart and to put in a valve that she didn't have and that of course she needed. Well she will be 10 in october and she has outgrown the valve, so a few days ago she had open heart surgery again to replace it. I have made her a shirt to support her, and i am giving it to her tomorrow. they are stick figures of her and her family representing that families are forever. and on the front there is a sun with rays beating down on her and a silver (supposed to look transparent) bird (dove) that represent Heavenly Father Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost watching over her. :) i hope she likes it. Below are the pictures before starting... front.. and back. :)

and obviously i have not mastered the art of knowing how to upload my pictures the way i want. ....oh well. :)

anyways.....she is still in Primary Childrens Medical Center but she is doing well. she is walking a little bit now. She really is my living angel.

I guess i should update...

I know i know, it has been forever since i have posted. I'm starting to feel bad. I was planning on going back to Dixie this week.... and then realized that i didn't have any money... so that plan was kinda crushed. But i hopefully will get to go in January. so that is good news there. I just started a new job. I work for my dad.... i process rental applications and such. AND answer phone calls... YUCK! but a job is a job, it helps me make money so it's all good. umm other then that there really isn't anything worth sharing yet. so until then... and hopefully it won't bee too much longer (hint hint Jerjer) anywho see y'all later.

Katy Perry - Pearl Lyrics

Such a good song! I just bought the Katy Perry album "Teenage Dream" it is really good! this song is from that album.

For Good

This song has been running through my mind for the past few weeks ever since my breakup. and all i can think about was how great of an experience that relationship was and how i have been changed for good. I wouldn't be who i am today if i didn't know him. Here is for that relationship and for starting a brand new wonderful chapter in my life.