Where have i been?

When i started this blog, i really thought that I was going to write more. BUT i haven't. Oh well. The posts that i have posted aren't all the great either, but it's MY blog, so i guess it doesn't matter. It is about 3:00am and i can't sleep. I have two ear infections and a sinus infection AND a cold, so i am very uncomfortable.  I also don't like to sleep cuz my recent past has been creeping it's way into my dreams and it is not very happy making.

 I am SOO happy that i have Jeremiah in my life. He saves me from my sadness and sickness. He comes over and for a brief time i forget that i feel so sick and miserable. How did i ever get so lucky to catch a guy like him? before i met him, i thought i deserved to be treated the way i was treated. I thought that that was normal and that i couldn't find any better for myself. being with Jeremiah has been a big adjustment for me, a good adjustment, but big. at first i didn't want to see him as often or cuddle as much and felt creeped out when he did because i was so used to being denied of affection of any sort most of the time. and when i wasn't denied that affection it was only given to me so my feelings weren't hurt (Some of the time) Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad, there were soo many good times. but all of these other times overshadow the good times now. It was like pulling teeth to get him to hang out with me even once a week. With Jer...he jumps at any chance to come see me every day. He always wants to hold my hand and tell me that he loves me every chance he gets and then some :) I'm lovin it!!

I guess my post is very scatterbrained... forgive me... i'm tired and have some bottled up feelings i am releasing a little bit. Don't worry, I won't unleash all of them at once. 

bottom line......i can't wait to be married to my JERJERBEAR!